The future

“What will the future hold?”,

Something I have been thinking about a lot lately.

My degree is coming to a quick end, my job search has began, but the spiralling of my student life ending is sending me into an abyss of panic.

Now, I know we don’t know what the future holds for us,

Hindsight is a wonderful thing,

But in this case, the torment of not know what comes next is ripping me apart; slowly.

“Everything will work out”,

Something I constantly keep being told, by people who have all the best intentions.

I know they’re trying to ease my nerves and I can’t thank them enough for that,

But, the feeling of hopelessness and job rejection is ripping me apart; slowly.

Perhaps, my ambitious dream will become a reality- who really knows,

What I do know though is I am struggling with the thought of being stuck in limbo after university.

So, what is this dream?

You may or may not be asking- probably the latter.

I’m wanting to move to NYC, to rocket my creative career, be closer to my partner and to have a new start.

Over the last year, I’ve been coming to the realisation that honestly there isn’t much for me in the UK other than trauma and bad memories.

I don’t want to live with that kind of negative energy- I need a fresh start, where hopefully I make less mistakes.

I can hear peoples thoughts, telling me I’m not going to make it, I am not good enough or worthy enough,

I’m trying not to listen, I’ve blocked out everyone.

Perhaps I’m not going to make it, but I’d rather try and fail than not try at all.

My dreams are ambitious but no one knows if I’ll fail,

Not even me.

We don’t know what the future holds for us,

Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

-Alex

I thought I’d try something a lil different to output some of the major anxieties I’m having lately and the fear that leaving university brings me. Hopefully everything will work out. I hope it works out for you too! Anxiety sucks, but with the right support, you can make it through most things.

poetry

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